TheCyberWriter

Not much to blog about today...Just wanted to wish you all a safe and happy Halloween!!! :-)

Well tomorrow I'm going to vote! We are lucky here in KS as we are allowed to vote early, as opposed to only doing it on election day. This is great! No annoying people or crowds to deal with LOL :-).....While on the subject of voting, I just wanted to give you all a friendly little reminder to vote as well. Personally, I will be SOOO glad when election season is over! I don't know about you all, but I'm getting so sick and tired of all the political ads on T.V.!! There's really no such thing as a friendly campaign anymore; one party attacks another, one candidate dogs another for one reason or another. I think all politicians have good and bad sides to them. When it comes to voting, yes, we all probably have a party of preference (and this isn't a blog trying to recruit Democrats of Republicans, so don't even try), but I find myself voting for the candidate I distrust the least. Think about it...don't you think they will tell us anything if it will get them a few votes??....Since I live close to Missouri, I am seeing several ads on T.V. for a question on the Missouri ballet regarding stem cells. One of the commercials - and this has been in the national news - features the actor, Michael J. Fox, who as most of you know, suffers from the dibilitating condition of Parkinson's disease. One of the things that brought his commercial to the national spotlight were remarks made by Rush Limbaugh. NOW, no offense to any faithful RL supporters, but that man is an egotistical, oxymoron fuck! There, I said it! Sorry...Anyway, he was claiming Mr. Fox wasn't taking his meds when the T.V. ad was filmed and that Democrats were using this as a ploy to swing more voters. Blah, blah, blah...that man just needs to shut his mouth for once! I'm sorry, but he's no doctor and has no right to attack someone like Michael J. Fox who is working so hard to make a difference in how Parkinson's disease is treated. That whole thing just really made me very upset :-(....At any rate....I have bitched enough for one week LOL Once again, don't forget to vote everyone! Thanks again for stopping by to read my blog :-)

Well today I feel like I took a major step backwards in my job. When I first got there - almost 2 months ago - there were many days where I felt like I knew nothing. In fact, one day I would learn something, but the next day it was like I still had no clue as to what I was doing. I felt like that for a few weeks but eventually I was able to fall into this groove. To add to the mix of my confusion, I have this really wicked supervisor. Don't get me wrong, this woman has her moments of kindness, but seriously you guys, she's a HUGE slacker....Well today, she proceeded to tell me that I was going to learn something new. I think to myself "Ok, cool, you need to learn as much as you can." Part of my job description is to do what are called "dailies." The dailies consist of the previous day's grade slips and inspection reports taken from the field inspections. I have to go through them and mark them in the computer as to whether or not the inspections were approved or not approved. Sometimes I have to make up new grade slips. Rather than describe everything I have to do, let me just say this task is easy, but you have to take your time and make sure you don't miss anything. Especially with me being fairly new at it still, I can't go real fast when doing them. Well my supervisor told me and my co-worker, "R" a couple of weeks ago that we were going to divide up the dailies so that R and I would both have stuff to do. I was totally fine with this. Also, you should know that another part of our dailies includes drafting up violation letters to send to builders that have inspection violations. My supervisor, "C", makes a big deal out of the letters; we are supposed to send the letters out the same day we draft them. Ok...well when I first started doing the letters, C would tell me to do them, but sit them on her desk so she could check them. Ok...well I would do this, only to walk over and see them sitting to the side; sometimes, she wouldn't get to them until the next day. So much for getting them sent out in a timely manner. What's bad is that some of the letters state that we are giving a builder 10 days from the date on the letter to get their violation fixed. So I think you know why I hate seeing the letters just sit around! Anyway, back to today....I had several dailies left to finish when I went to lunch today. C told me she was going to show me something new when I got back. I didn't think much about it at the time because I thought my daily stuff would be done by then. I get back from lunch only to find out R had an emergency come up and she had to leave work early. Ok, this is not my complaint....But her leaving meant I had to answer the phones more, plus work on my dailies, PLUS learn this new thing C wanted to show me. To make a long story short (and please bear with me on that LOL), I spent the second half of my afternoon learning this new thing, and I didn't get to finish my dailies. I was so pissed! I stressed it the rest of the day....C was like, "I know you feel a little overwhelmed right now..." I said, "Yeah, to say the least...I'm used to starting something, finishing it, then starting something new." And she was like, "Well this job isn't like this. You're going to have times when you have 10 different things going on at once." Needless to say today was one of those days. And after she showed me this new thing, I was completely lost afterwards! I took notes, but I was still lost...I tell you guys, she's the WORST teacher on the planet, and such a slacker in the meantime. She is one of these people who's "so busy" but yet, she can't seem to get shit done everyday. I don't know what it is about her, but I guess she just rubs me the wrong way and has since day one. She has been at this job for less than a year and she's already a "supervisor?" Whatever....oh and she's taking these supervisory courses the county sponsors. I tell you, they aren't working! I used to think at first, I was just being really hard on myself, and maybe I still am...but seriously, it's been almost 2 months and I still sometimes feel like I'm completely useless at this job :-( It's really kicking my ass mentally, too....Any suggestions?? Thanks for letting me bitch :-(

Hi bloggers!...Well I'm just getting over a rather nasty cold, so that's why I haven't written for a few days. Today is the first day in many that I have actually felt better, so that's good...Anyhoo...I was watching the local news a few minutes ago when I heard about a sad story. A young mother just took her 2 year old daughter off of life support after she was declared brain dead. The news report went on to say that the little girl was severely beaten by her mother's boyfriend. Wow....You guys just have no idea how sad I feel all the sudden :-(....Some of the people that were interviewed were saying that we should pray for the little girl and her mother - especially since the young mother has no way to pay for her daughter's funeral. A couple of banks are setting up funds for people to donate money - I might even make a donation myself....I didn't know this little girl, and I know you all didn't know her either, but please, can you all send prayers out to her and her family?? How can someone find it in their heart to harm a child?? I just don't understand it at all....I'm just relieved that this little girl is no longer suffering. Now justice can be served to the monster who did the awful deed to her.

Hello again, fellow bloggers!...Well today's post should be fairly mundane, but interesting none the less LOL....As I have stated many times, I have been at my current job for about a month and a half now. As you all are aware, Halloween will be here in a couple of weeks. I don't know about you all, but Halloween is by far my favorite holiday of the year. It beats Christmas by a LONG shot! LOL Anyway, I was passing by one of the departments in my building the other day, and I couldn't help but notice how much I liked their Halloween decorations. It was nothing fancy, just a few fake cobwebs, a few cute little pumpkins and some other cute decorations. Again, nothing fancy or elaborate. It got me to wondering why my department didn't decide to decorate our little area. Well today, someone mentioned Christmas and whether or not we could do any decorating for the Holiday season. To make a long story short, we can, but it can't be anything religious. Snowflakes, snowmen, reindeer and all the such are fine, but no angels...but then yet, if we had decided to put up anything for Halloween, images of ghosts would be acceptable. Ok, is it just me, or does this seem like sort of a double standard?? I must mention that I work in a county office, so I no longer work in a private sector enviornment, but a public one (basically taxpayers pay my salary, so I'm in a job to serve them no matter how rude they are to me LOL)....Anyway, the whole discussion got me to thinking - thinking about how damn politically correct our society is supposed to be. You can't offend anyone. It just really annoys me that we have to tiptoe around people for fear that an image of an angel might offend them; or, you can't put up a menorah because it might offend someone Catholic. We as a society really need to get over ourselves and stop taking everything so seriously, you know?! When the Holiday season gets here, I won't be able to say "Merry Christmas" to people when they come into my office. I will have to say "Happy Holidays." Do you know how hard this is going to be for me?? LOL I never once thought in a million years that the words "Merry Christmas" migh actually offend someone. So annoying.....Thanks for letting me vent, you guys! LOL

Hello again, fellow bloggers!....I was reading a blog a few minutes ago that got me to thinking about something somewhat serious: death. Ok, before you stop reading, please know that this won't be a sad, weird, or morbid post....You see, all my life, while growing up, I never gave death much thought. I heard about it, but never really understood what happened when it occured. It wasn't until I was 19 and lost a good friend that I fully understood death and the afterlife....My friend Robin was such a sweet person and very much like a sister to me. We went to school together from kindergarten all the way up through graduation. The summer after we graduated, in 1996, she and I, along with some other friends, were inseperable. One night while I was working, Robin and another friend of ours, stopped by my house to see if I wanted to go with them to the county fair. I wasn't home, so mom told them I was working. Needless to say I missed out on getting to go to the fair with them. Well a few days later, I learned that Robin was found dead in her bedroom. I was devastated, as you can imagine. I couldn't understand why such a good person had to be taken away. Why were all the druggies and drunks still alive, but not her??....Well life went on as normal until about 9 months later. I had moved out of my parents house after going through a difficult situation with them. (that's another story for another day LOL) I was living with my then ex by this point. One night, a few days after I had moved in with her, I had this really weird, uh...dream. I remember being asleep and then all the sudden, I heard laughter inside my head. Pretty soon, I saw Robin standing right in front of me just like the last time I saw her alive. This part is kind of hard to explain, but while I'm experiencing this, I was in bed lying down, but somehow, it felt like I was standing up. I have since wondered if maybe this was an OBE (out of body experience). Anyway....so she's standing in front of me, and behind her, is the most beautiful bright light I have ever seen. Never saw anything like it before then, never saw anything like it since....I don't remember what we talked about, but I totally remember crying and saying to her (half chuckling) "You're real!!!" And she just sort of chuckled back and was like, "Uh huh." LOL Next thing I remember is hugging her...Now, while we're hugging, the light stays behind her, it never touches me. The experience was over after that. I think she came to me to say good-bye and tell me that even though I had gone through something really difficult at home, everything was going to be ok....Ever since I had this experience, I have looked at death in such a different way. I don't see why people are afraid of it. True, it can be scary not knowing when or how you are going to die, but the next place we go is way better than anything we have here :-) Unfortunately the physical body can't last forever. I think that love never dies, it just changes form...if you love somebody and they live in your heart, they will live forever.

"Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' wedding may be just around the corner, with her dress all ready to go, but the persistent buzz is that Katie's parents are still outraged that the nuptials -- whenever and wherever they happen -- will be conducted by the Church of Scientology, rather than in the Catholic tradition. And there have even been suggestions that the family Holmes is threatening a last-minute boycott of the wedding to try to convince Katie to have a proper Catholic ceremony, even if she does one Scientology-style, too. Katie was born a Roman Catholic and went to parochial schools growing up in Toledo, Ohio, and so it would only be fitting for her to be married with the usual Catholic rites -- not in a Scientology ceremony, in which the bride is sometimes called a "girl" marrying a "man" and in which one of the solemn "pacts" of marriage is that the couple agree not to go to bed angry. The Holmes family has not commented publicly on the situation, though the TomKat mothers were spotted recently having lunch with their children. Cruise's rep maintains that the couple will be married sometime in the fall."....I don't know about you all, but I am SOOO sick of hearing about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes!! He has turned into such a freak and I'm sorry, but I think he has Katie brainwashed. But then yet, if she's dumb enough to allow that, she deserves it. I wish I could have blogged about something more worth while, but seriously, I'm just so sick of hearing about them! Please excuse my complaining LOL :-)

Well I just got home while ago from going out with a good friend of mine from school. Next weekend is her birthday, so to celebrate a little early, we decided to go to a movie tonight. I didn't really care what we saw, but she was wanting to see "The Grudge 2." Ok, first of all, I haven't seen the first of these movies yet, so it didn't really make a lot of sense LOL It was freaky, I will say that, but really, it wasn't the best scary movie I have ever seen. After the movie, we drove around to find a place with beer and something to eat. We found this bar & grill that was open, so we decided to stop there (we have both been to this particular bar & grill before). As soon as we walked in the door, there was a woman sitting by the door, and the bitch carded us! Guys, my friend is going to be 30 next weekend and I'm right behind her turning 30 myself in March! God, talk about annoying! LOL....Just getting to see H was great; I hadn't seen her since last summer and except for phone calls and emails, that's about the only way we have been able to keep in touch. At any rate...we got to bullshit about people we ran around with and catch up. Next weekend is her birthday, so a bunch of us friends are getting together to help her celebrate :-)......While we were out running around, we were in the car heading back to her house when she told me something about another friend of ours; this friend was raped by her own father when she was 14 :-( I'm not sure how we got on to the subject of our friend and how this had happened to her, but it kind of confirmed something I had suspected. Now, I have known this other friend for many years and I know she has never had a good relationship with her father - now I know why. I felt so sad for her :-( How can someone be so sick and so cruel to their own child??? It just makes no sense! .......Thanks for stopping by - TTFN!

I just wanted to blog briefly about a family get together I went to last night at my grandma and grandpa's house. I got to see my cousin L for the first time in a year, plus see her girlfriend and their baby. You guys, this little tyke has gotten SO big since last time I saw her :-) I can't believe she will be 2 years old in December - how time has flown!...My cousin is 2 years older than me (I'm 29, she's 31), and she has 3 sisters. When all of us grandkids were growing up, we all reached that point where we wanted to bring our boyfriends around to family get togethers. I was an exception to this, obviously, because I had a hard time dealing with the fact that I liked women. My cousin L was an exception also: I don't ever recall her bringing boyfriends around for us to meet. Growing up I never gave this much thought. I went a few years without contact with her when all the sudden, at my last job, I got an email from her out of the blue. That was 3 years ago, and we have maintained contact ever since then. When we first started emailing, she had indicated to me that she was living with another woman in San Diego; this really got my curiosity peaked. To make a long story short, she and B have been together for about 5 years now. In December of 2004, they were blessed with the birth of their daughter, K. When you are around them, you just know they are crazy about each other AND baby K :-) Last night, I was able to see this love once again, and I tell you guys, it made me feel so good! L and B are both CPA's and are doing very well financially, so obviously baby K will never have to worry about doing without. But aside from that...I know they are both crazy about this little girl :-) When you see them all together, it just clicks - I don't know how to describe it. They are very natural parents. All children want is to be loved by loving parents. I get angry when people get on a soapbox and say that children who grow up in same-sex families grow up to be gay also, or have mental issues. Do you know how many kids are in foster care due to careless straight people who had no business screwing to make a baby?? When people talk like that, I'm always left to wonder "Well who the fuck died and made you so self-righteous?" I totally support my cousin and the life she is making with B...and no, I'm not just saying this because I'm gay myself, or because we're family. I just think it's so awesome she has the courage to be who she is and she doesn't care what other poeple think. I wish I could be as strong as she is; perhaps in a way, I'm a little envious because I should have all the same things she does, but that's just not the case. When I was leaving last night, I gave L this big hug and I whispered into her ear (where only she would hear it): "I'm so fucking proud of you!" I hugged her a little longer than I have before, but in that moment, I guess I just really wanted her to know that I'm so happy for her and the beautiful family she is raising :-)

Hello again, fellow bloggers! Well it has been about a week since my last entry - which is SO unlike me! I haven't had much to write about, so rather than blog about total shit, I decided to wait a few days until I could blog about something actually worthwhile.....Is anyone familar with the word "control?" According to Merriam Webster's online dictionary, the word "control" means (as a verb) "to exercise restraining or directing influence over." Have you ever found yourself wishing you could influence certain events that have happened to you in your life? What about a person - do you wish you could make someone do something? The word "control" has many different feelings when I think of it and how it pertains to me and my life....You see, I have felt over the years about certain events that have happened to me. Some good, some bad. I'm always happy about the outcome for the good events. But when I think of something bad/negative, I have wished I could have had more of a say so in the final outcome. A perfect example of this was the recent job hunting situation I was in. I spent 6 months seeking the so-called perfect job; I had really reached a low point in my life - personally and professionally - and I knew what I needed to do in order to change this. I needed to move on. I really got on the ball and started looking for a new job immediately. Well days would go by, then weeks, and finally months....I tell you, the longer it took me to find a new job, the more disappointed I would feel in myself. Again, it was also a control issue. I wanted so much to control the unhappy job I was in, but somehow, have total control in moving forward. As I grew increasingly desperate in my job search, I had a major wake up call: one day, the word "control" would take on new meaning. I was at my crappy job one day, and it was like this lightbulb went off inside my head. I was trying to control this whole job situation entirely too much. I was doing more than my part: taking the initiative in searching, applying for the jobs, and even scoring myself some interviews. So why wasn't I finding a job and what else was there to do? When the lightbulb went off in my head, it was like I finally realized that a Higher Power was at work in my life. It suddenly didn't matter what part I was doing in the job search; I had to be willing to relinquish some of the control to this Power and realize that this would ultimately determine when and where I would move on in my professional career. I have a couple of friends that are going through difficult situations of their own right now, and if there's one thing I could say to them, it would be what I just wrote: do your part for the situation, but be willing and ready to accept the things you can't control. Realize that there is a Higher Authority at work in your life and this will help guide you to where it is you're supposed to be. You can't control everything, unfortunately....don't be afraid of casting your fate to the wind.........Thanks again for reading, everyone! :-)