TheCyberWriter

The entry I made yesterday in which I referenced the song "Photograph" by Ringo Starr caused me to have a case of deja vu last night....I have blogged recently about my ex that I broke up with 6 years ago. In this particular blog, I expressed anger and sadness at how our relationship went sour. I'm totally over her, ok, I really am. That's not to say that over the years, I haven't wondered about her and what she's doing. I have stayed in contact with her youngest daughter, who is the same age as me. K (this daughter) told me a few weeks ago that S wasn't doing well. I don't know what got us on the subject of S, but I think I said something to her like, "How's your mom doing?" And that's when she said, "Mom isn't doing so good." She went on to explain that S had been experiencing a lot of dizziness and slurred speech. She also went on to say that her grandmother also had taken a turn for the worst in her health - she has recently been diagnosed with lymphoma. I happened to talk to K last night and she said something about having had a rough weekend. I asked her what was up, and she said, "Well I found out that mom has a brain aneurysm and may require surgery." She also said, "My grandma's lymphoma has spread." I said, "Well her prognosis is good though, right?" And that's when she said, "If she takes her meds, they should fight it, but if not, there's nothing the doctors can really do for her." I swear to you all, I felt like I got kicked in the fucking teeth :-( I know S and I broke up 6 years ago, but I have no desire to wish something like this on her; I'm just not like that. And for S's mother to be sick also, that just made me feel even worse. S's parents were always so good to me while we were together, and they welcomed me into their family from day one. I loved them a lot. (S's father, by the way, passed away in July of 1998 - he was a very good man). I guess this whole situation of both S and her mother being sick hit me like a ton of bricks :-( Even though S and I broke up, this whole thing made me think about what we had. It pains me more than you know to think of her going through something like this....WOW.... :-( Well I guess I should be ending this. Like I said in my last blog: take time to appreciate what you have and those you love. Thanks for reading....

"Photograph" by Ringo Starr Everytime I see your face It reminds me of the places we used to go But all I've got is a photograph And I realize you're not coming back anymore I thought I'd make it The day you went away But I can't make it Till you come home again to stay I can't get used to living here While my heart is broke, my tears I cry for you I want you here to have and hold As the years go by, and we grow old and gray Now you're expecting me to live without you But that's not something that I'm looking forwrad to I can't get used to living here While my heart is broke, my tears I cry for you I want you here to have and hold As the years go by, and we grow old and gray Everytime I see your face It reminds me of the places we used to go But all I've got is a photograph And I realize you're not coming back anymore The reason I decided to post the lyrics to this song is because I heard it on my radio at work...In case you couldn't tell, the lyrics are about someone you love who is now gone. Let me just tell you a little about the one I'm missing who's now gone....Her name was J and we worked together for about 9 months. I know, it was brief, but believe me, in just that amount of time, we became very close friends. We shared so much in that time....I swear we were destined to met and be friends :-) One day, while J was coming back home to KC from vacation with her 18 year old son, there was a car accident and she was killed. Her son lived, but he suffered a broken arm. I was devastated, as you can imagine. I never saw this coming...and up until that point, I never had a co-worker die. This was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to deal with :-( After hearing about her passing, I walked over to her work desk, only to see the simple items that would never be used again. Papers with her handwriting on them, a coffee cup half full of coffee, CD's and a boombox. They were all still sitting out on her desk waiting for her return.....but it wasn't meant to be. A while after that, I received one of those stupid chain letter emails at work from another friend, and it was something about friends who come into your life for reason, season or a lifetime. When I read the one about friends for a season, it hit me: J was my friend for a season. These people teach you something, perhaps. It said something about these people coming into your life for a while, and then, without any wrongdoing on your part or theirs, they just go away. Perhaps you have a fight and don't speak....or that person dies. Their job is done. If it seems like they are a godsend, they are :-) I can't say enough about how wonderful and special J was, and that I miss her and think of her often. I guess the whole moral to this posting is that you should always take the time to appreciate the people you have in your life. Tell them you love them all the time! You just never know when they won't be around anymore.....Thanks again for stopping by to check out my blog, everyone :-)

Hi again, fellow bloggers! A change of pace from my last entry, if you don't mind...I finalized plans today for a 30th birthday party for a friend of mine from school. I'm really looking forward to it even though the party isn't for another month :-) It is for my friend H from school. There was a group of us that ran around together in high school, and the year after we graduated, we were strangely united by the death of a friend from school. I look back very fondly over the years at all the things we did and how sometimes I wish I could go back to being a young kid again. When you're a kid, about the only things you worry about are what you will get for Christmas and whether or not the Tooth Fairy will pay you a visit. Then one day, you're standing on a podium accepting your high school diploma, wondering what the next chapter in your life will be. It's interesting because just before you graduate, you tell all your friends you will stay in touch, but you never really do. Ok, maybe you do, but still, it's not like you hoped it would be. People start their own lives and then it's like you have to start yours right along with them. I look back on the friends I had from school and I didn't stay in touch with a lot of them over the years. Then last year, I had my 10 yr high school reunion, and it was like we all just saw each other yesterday :-) Ever since then - and I know it's only been a year - I have made a real good effort at staying in touch with the gang. I think one of the reasons I'm looking forward to H's birthday party is so that we can keep catching up on our lives, plus taking yet another stroll down memory lane at all the crazy shit we did as teenagers......My advice to anyone who might be looking at graduating from high school, is to make the most out of your last year. It will go by like a blur! Well, I wish I had more to write, but I don't....hope this blog finds you all doing well. Thanks for stopping by to read! :-)

Hello again, fellow bloggers! Well I heard some rather interesting news yesterday from a close friend of mine.....First I need to back up and say how I met my friend and how we became such good friends. I met my friend D at the job of 9 years I just left; she and I hit it off from day one and became fast friends. I was just 21 and she was in her 50's - old enough to be my mother! LOL But she was very motherly to me and she became someone I grew to love as a friend, not just a co-worker. I learned about D and her family: she and her hubby have 2 kids - a son and daughter. Her son got a girl pregnant and got married when he was 18. With a religious background unlike anyone I have ever met, D told me she was very upset about her son's predicament and almost refused to go to his wedding. She didn't think it was right that they were getting married because they "had to do the right thing." I think it would be natural for any parent to feel this way, but if you know D, you know why it upset her so much. Well over the years, D's son has had a very strained relationship with his daughter (Amber). Things aren't much better with Amber and her mother either. Amber has basically been shuffled around between living with her dad and her mom. Just from what D has told me over the years, I think Amber believes she doesn't really have a home, you know? What I admire is that over the years, D has always been there for Amber. I think she knows Amber is hurting over not having a good relationship with her parents so her motherly instincts kick in where she is concerned. I also heard stories from D about Amber and how she became somewhat of a rebel over the years. This includes having sex, drinking, etc. Just from the things I have heard, I hoped in my heart that Amber would get straightened out before she did something she might regret in the long run. I think my worst fears came true....D and I both have AOL and there have been times when I'll be online and I think she's online too, but it's not her, it's Amber. I thought this was odd, so when I talked to D last night, she told me that Amber had been living with her and her hubby. Apparently Amber is pregnant and due to give birth in the latter part of November or early December. I felt so bad for D when she was telling me about it, but I guess in a way, I wasn't surprised.....I have been saying prayers for D and Amber as well. Someone needs to be strong for Amber, and I just know D will be just that. Speaking from experience, it's hard to forgive and forget when it comes to people who have wronged you in your life. I hope for Amber's sake, she is somehow able to find peace and find it in her heart to forgive her parents for not doing such a good job raising her. I guess time will tell....

Dearest Darlin'.... Well it's been many years since we said our goodbyes and although we don't talk now, I need to tell you how much you hurt me... Don't you remember the night we met? How there was this instant attraction from first sight...We couldn't take our eyes and hands off each other right from the get go. Before we knew it, we were drenched in passion while lying in each other's arms. It was a night to never forget, and there were many more just like it from that point on. We loved and loved....we couldn't stop loving. I asked you to do it again and again - to do it to me because you did it so well. And when we would finish loving, we would hold each other the whole night through. Do you share your bed with someone else now? How's that working out for you? Does she touch you in all the right places....does she do it like I did? What the hell happened to us? I thought you said you'd love me forever, but one day, out of the clear blue sky, we were done. Are you happy about that now? Guess I'd better let you go....I'm over you and after having written all of this, I realize you really aren't worth the time or energy. So goodbye....have a nice life.

Well I have decided to cave in and join the blogging craze by starting my own blog :-) I haven't done this very much, so please forgive me if this gets a little redundant LOL I know most bloggers blog about various things - this can include: having a bad day at work/school; venting about some jacka** you encountered on the freeway tonight on the way home from work; complaining about how dysfunctional your family (then again, who doesn't have a dysfunctional family?? LOL) I have decided to blog about my new job, which I just started a week ago yesterday. I left my previous job after 9 years. This was a difficult decision I had to make, but looking back on it, I know it was the right thing to do. I was seeing all sorts of red flags telling me it was time to move on. One thing that clued me in, was the fact that most of my responsibilities were either being streamlined to my company's office in Minneapolis. There really was no need for my position and when I realized this, I took it upon myself to find another job. It took me about 6 months to find my new job. I don't know if anyone has noticed this lately, but the job market really sucks right now! You are either way underqualified (even with years of experience), or you have to have a degree. Ok, I'm not knocking the whole degree thing, as having one is very important, I realize, but seriously why can't a person's experience speak for itself?? Anyway....I started my new job last week and I must say that so far, for the most part, is going really well. I have had to learn a lot and have had to learn something a lot different than what I was doing before. Some of it is similar to my old job, but for the most part, it's way different. I'll let you know in another week or so how I feel about the job and whether or not I still think it's a good match for me LOL Well I guess I'm going to end this for now.....just wanted to start my new blog on a somewhat generic note :-) Thanks for reading!